This is a true story. I’ve changed the names of everyone involved, partly because, even all these years later, I’m still a little bit worried that a middle-aged “Johnny Kaminski” might read it, recognise himself, hop on a plane from upstate New York, cross the Atlantic, go through customs, struggle with the Heathrow Express ticketing… Read More The dork who could dunk
Uncle Jack A few years back, I had the good fortune to get to know my wife’s great-uncle, Jack. We would see him whenever we went to visit her family in California. Jack was well into his 80s and he lived in a little studio apartment that stood over the garage of the family’s beach house.… Read More Lola Jacuzzi and life’s whirlpool of regret
When I was a kid, I remember thinking about my father: “Were you ever young?” I love my dad, but he is and has always been a bit of an old fogey, and I used to wonder at what point he became that way. I understood, of course, that he had to have once actually… Read More A cantankerous hullabaloo about some fatherly malarkey
There’s an old joke that I always thought did a good job of capturing the frustration we feel when we want to be known for one thing, but wind up being remembered for something else. A man walks into a bar and sits next to a talkative old drunk, who introduces himself as Fergus. The… Read More You might remember me as that splat the rat chap. Also, I killed Jesus.
One of my colleagues at work just came back from the USA and brought back a bag of Reese’s miniature peanut butter cups to share around the office. I opened the bag and ate six of them before anyone else even knew they were there. I did it out of love. I love Reese’s miniature peanut… Read More The Reese’s principle: the counterintuitive impulse to destroy the things we love
My 10 year old daughter believes there is a magical entity that sneaks into her room in the middle of the night to purchase her baby teeth. It never occurs to her that this might not be reasonable. She also believes that on one particular Sunday every April, a giant, partially-human hare hops up to… Read More It’s the great “Crockery Kraken,” Charlie Brown!
Recently, I just finished reading my first P.G. Wodehouse book. I’ve lived in Britain for a dozen years as an American expat, so I was well aware of the esteem with which Mr Wodehouse’s comedic novels were held, but until now I had never picked one up before. I had always assumed his books would be… Read More Right Ho, Brexit
Amazon.com hates me. It mocks me. And I know it’s doing it on purpose. Chances are, it hates you and mocks you as well. But maybe you’ve never noticed. Maybe you thought it was your fault. I’m here to tell you it’s not. Amazon is mean. So mean. And dumb. It’s mean and dumb and I figure… Read More Amazon.com – why do you hate me so?